Posted: August 26, 2012 in red

I hate that stupid phrase about changing the world. “I’m going to change the world.” Great. Well, first off the world changes every day, of its own accord, and each change is tending toward some new paradigm in whatever field it affects, however great or small. And that’s not the effect of one person or a group of people but an impulse in the collective itself, a communal desire borne of multifarious and unrelated groups of people to manifest a certain shift in a certain field.

Fuck changing the world. It will do that all by itself, and I’m sure you’ll feel really good about yourself if you can lay some sort of claim to taking part in a change that is generally perceived as making things better. The reality is nothing is good or bad. Ok, less people are dying. You’re further depleting the food supply, which puts pressure on the environment, and that extra eighty gallons of pesticide used to grow the sustenance food for the poor people you helped save is going to implode the earth five years sooner than it eventually would. Congratulations. You feel good about yourself.

Everybody dies. The only reason we go around trying to have less people die is because otherwise you’re in a society about survival of the fittest, and then everyone just ends up killing each other over the next guy’s apple. Sure, I’d rather our have vain, self-serving idea of a “good” society than the Lord of the Flies one, but don’t decieve yourself, it’s a communal survival mechanism and there is no such thing as progress when it comes to human nature. Only repression.

What I want to do is light souls on fire. There’s an ancient idea about how we’re all just participants in the World Soul, which proceeds from the One, the original creative impulse, the being that exists before the principle of being, an epic stillness that creates not of its own will but of its own nature, and from that One pours the entire universe, first spirit and then matter. And at our very core, when we are closest to the purity of our own self, is that spark, that ineffable need to create, to flow through the One and take part in the unfolding of the universe just as we were meant to. It means bright eyes and hungry hands and lots of pacing and loving and hating and tears.

At my center is a black hole wishing to swallow the universe. That I know. But there’s forever the mystery of what happens to the matter that gets sucked in. Whatever it is, even if it is something so opaque as death, I want to know.

I want to wheedle my way in, through your ears or hair or skin, and find that spark. I want to rip a powerline down and poke that part of you with it. We’re in a society that privileges the comfortable life over the alive one. Little insignificant routines that tell us we are doing just fine and we should sleep easy at night. Sitting in front a computer all day, unmoving and bored, but we’re told that’s RIGHT because someone pays us to do it. It’s a farce of empty legitimization.

Have you ever had an animal look at you when you’re on your phone or on the computer? It’s painful how torturously boring they think we are.

Maybe there’s too many of us here, and the only way we can all get along is to take part in the deadening society we’ve built. If we all burned with the real sparks within us, the whole place would turn to ash. But mine is so loud and so hot that I can’t shut it up, and I see it, I see it in everyone in those millisecond expressions of eye and it’s our origin and our birthright and I just want you to burn with me because it’s a feeling that goes beyond our pedestrian notions of happiness–it’s truth running through your veins begging you to be it, be in it and not question whatever it might look like from the outside because IT IS WHAT YOU ARE.

  1. People change the world because it is easier than changing themselves. If we all focused on changing our minds, we probably wouldn’t need to change the world. Indeed, the story of the world has already been written. And our purpose is not to be happy; it is to be grateful.

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